All That Matters
by magicallittleme
Summary: Basically, Char's POV of things during the three balls...what he thinks of Ella...and Lela...


I rolled over on my bed, and heaved a deep sigh

I rolled over on my bed, and heaved a deep sigh. I was definitely depressed. Why did Mother and Father have to go and plan these balls for me? 

I answered my own question. Because they didn't know of my resolve never to marry. 

As I got off of my bed to change for the event, I stepped on a piece of paper. I stooped down and picked it up, smoothing out the crinkles. The ink was slightly blurred, but I could still make out the words. 

Yet another letter from Hattie. 

What was wrong with that girl? Could she not tell that I completely loathed her? I got a letter from her every day, about some ball her mother had, or how she had punished a servant's deeds. It was always a cruel punishment, and by the time I had finished reading, I was always wondering how a human could be that harsh. 

Maybe she wasn't human. 

I didn't even bother to read this one. Instead, I walked over the hearth and tossed it into the fireplace, watching it disintegrate into ashes. 

Letters... Letters like the ones Ella used to write me. They had been my joy and comfort while I was away, in a place where I knew no one. They had always been so formal there, and I used to read her letters over and over again, for they reminded me so of her. 

And it was through the letters that I fell more in love with her than before. Through the letters that I finally declared my love for her. And it was through a letter that she rejected me. 

Well, Hattie's letter came first. Then the note written in Ella's hand. 

It just didn't sound like her. At first, I was convinced that it was all a cruel joke. Ella wouldn't do that to me. I figured it was all something Hattie had planned. 

But when no news came that told me otherwise, I began to wonder. What if that was actually the truth? What if Ella actually had married some rich old man?

I began to blame myself.

How could I have been so blind? How could she have deceived me so easily? 

I began to convince myself that I hated her. 

I walked over to my closet and got out the fancy clothes I was supposed to wear this evening. 

But the truth was, I didn't hate her. 

I couldn't help it. 

And no matter how hard I tried to keep her out of my mind, I couldn't. Not thinking about her was impossible. Every day, she wandered into my thoughts, and I could only surrender to her charms.

No matter what she did, I still loved her. 

I could only hope that Hattie was lying and she returned the feeling. 

*~*~*

The ball was boring, just as I had predicted it would be. I stifled a yawn as yet another girl walked up to me and curtsied. It was so repetitive. She would walk up, and curtsy. I would bow and ask her name. She would tell me. I would make polite small talk, then she would leave because I didn't ask her to dance. I wasn't planning to ask anyone to dance. 

Except then a new girl walked up to me. There was just something about her, something that fascinated me. Something that reminded me of a certain someone. I asked her name. 

"Lela" she replied. 

I looked at her closely. Why did she seem so familiar to me? There was just something about her nature.... I couldn't tell what it was, and it annoyed me that I couldn't figure it out. 

"Do you live here in Frell, Lady Lela?" I smiled at her. 

"In Bast, Highness" she replied somewhat nervously. 

I felt slightly disappointed and I didn't even know why. I glanced past her, ready to move on. "I hope you enjoy the ball and your stay in Frell" I told her politely. 

But then she spoke again, and my attention was captured once more. 

"You speak Ayorthaian!" I exclaimed excitedly. 

She smiled modestly at me. "Not well. My uncle was born there. He's a singer. His voice can charm wood."

I knew there had been something special about her. "I miss their songs. I was glad to leave, but now I miss everything."

She began to hum a tune that I recognized. My voice joined hers, and we sang softly. Our singing made the heads of the people near us turn. 

As we finished our song, I bowed to her yet again. "Would you favour me with a dance?" I asked. 

I could see her eyes light up as she curtsied. I took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. As I did, I just couldn't keep my eyes off her. Somehow, everything just felt right. 

And we danced, a smile of delight on her face. When the music ended, I was almost sorry to let her leave. As I went off to be a polite and distant host again, I saw her hurry down the steps. 

The rest of the evening was boring enough. Olive asked me to dance, and I obliged, three times out of the four. And I didn't enjoy one dance. I'm glad she didn't ask me any more. Three times was torture enough. 

Later, in the safety of my room, I realized why she had seemed so familiar. Her dancing, her nature, how she had completely charmed me; it reminded me of Ella. 

Ella. Why must that name follow me everywhere?

*~*~*

The next night, I couldn't find Lela anywhere. The hours ticked by, and yet she still didn't appear. Was she purposely avoiding me? 

Finally, I saw her, standing with the others that watched the dance. I met her eyes over the shoulder of my partner, and mouthed, "Wait for me"

And there she stood, waiting for me. I admired her patience. I could feel her eyes following me around the dance floor, yet I felt completely comfortable. 

Finally, I could go to her. "Will you dance?" I asked her. "I looked for you"

I took her hand, and we stepped into the dance, following the music. And as we talked, I was startled at how well she could read my emotions, how well she knew me. 

"Was it that apparent?" I asked. 

She flashed me a small smile. "It was to me"

I tried to shake off the surprise. And changed the subject. I told her about the song that I was to sing, and asked if she would be there. The dance ended just as I finished singing. 

"There's more," I said, stopping. "I want you to hear it. Will you?"

"I'll be delighted to, but I must leave now tonight. I'm expected by twelve." she replied. 

Again, I felt disappointed, but I tried to not let it show. "Oh." I said, hoping it didn't show in my voice. "I'd hoped...I'm sorry. I mustn't...." I shut up and bowed before I could make an even bigger fool of myself. 

She curtsied, smiling as sweetly as ever. "Till tomorrow, Majesty."

Without even thinking about it, I caught her hand. "One last thing" I told her. "Please call me Char."

And that's when Hattie rushed up to me, gushing sweetness. I suppressed a groan. "Excuse me, Lady Hattie, I must go see to my guests" I told her, trying to excuse myself. 

She grabbed onto my hand and didn't let go. "Some wenches will stoop to anything to intrigue a man." she started. 

And then she just kept on talking about why Lela would wear a mask. That it might conceal a deformity, that she could be a bandit. I wanted to scream at her, tell her that I didn't care. But she didn't notice, and just continued blabbering. 

She didn't leave my side until the ball was over. 

By then, I was exhausted. 

I have wondered why Lela wears a mask. But her affairs are none of my business, and it would be impolite to ask. Although I do wish to see her face. I'll just have to wait until she wishes to remove her mask. 

It surprises me that I can trust people this easily. I won't let myself get attached to her. I'm only setting myself up for disappointment. 

I wonder if she wants more than friendship. 

I hope she doesn't. 

I wonder what she'll think when she hears that I've resolved never to marry. 

I hope she won't hate me. 

I treasure her friendship. 

She reminds me too much of another. 

*~*~*

This time, I sat by the palace entrance, waiting for her. As I saw her carriage pull up, I stood up and dashed to the door to let her out. "You look splendid," I told her. 

I led her inside. "Your carriage is an unusual colour" I commented, as it drove away. 

"Not in Bast" she replied. 

I thought, confused. I didn't remember any orange carriages in Bast when we had last visited there. Maybe it was a new trend. It had been a few years since I was last there. 

When I suggested that she meet my parents, she gave me such a startled look that I chuckled. She agreed and I led her inside the palace. 

Father rose when we entered. He and Mother were both beaming at me. I sneaked a peek at Lela, to see if she was okay. She looked quite awed at all this. 

"Mother, Father, may I introduce Lady Lela, my new friend and acquaintance from Bast, where the carriages are orange." I was slightly in doubt about the carriages being orange, but Mother and Father would remember that fact better than I. 

They seemed to get along pretty well. Mother stepped down and embraced her."I've waited long to meet the maiden my son loves" 

I could feel myself turning crimson. They just _had _to say something like that, didn't they? "I don't love her, Mother," I said from behind her. "That is, I like her, certainly."

They talked a bit more, before I hastily interrupted them and returned us to the rest of the guests. I was certain that if we stayed any longer, they would say something to embarrass me again.

"Save me a dance, okay?" I asked her. "Just now, I'd better be polite and distant some more"

And as I walked away, I swear I could sense a certain sadness in her eyes. It made me feel bad about leaving her. I wished I could stay. 

When I was able to return, I saw that she was in Hattie's clutches. I groaned. Stupid Hattie better not have ruined everything. Knowing her, she had probably told Lela lies about everyone here. 

I pulled Lela away, and we stepped into yet another dance. It just felt so comfortable, so right, with her in my arms. And she'd be gone soon. I'd probably never see her again. 

As I chattered on about court affairs, I wondered how I would tell her that I wouldn't marry. As I looked down at her, I saw a tear coursing down her cheek. 

"Lela, I'm so sorry!" I hadn't realized how much I was beginning to care for her. I had let myself become attached to her without even realizing it. It startled me. 

"Why? What were you saying? I'm the one to apologize. I wasn't listening. I was thinking about how sad I'll be to leave Frell. No more balls every night." She laughed a little and I was surprised how much bitterness was in her laugh. 

"Would you like to go outside?" I asked. "Every time the musicians start up, I'm reminded of all the maidens with whom I should be dancing."

She nodded. I guess she didn't trust herself to speak. 

We strolled through the castle gardens. It was a peaceful night, the stars brightly twinkling in the sky. A breeze swept through and ruffled my hair. The fresh scent of flowers with tinged with the minty smell of the grass. 

I talked about Frell, asking her if she had visited the sights. I've discovered that I have a tendency to chatter on when I'm nervous. And I was very nervous. I still didn't know how I would tell her. I didn't want to hurt her. She'd become very close to my heart. 

As we walked, I could feel her shoulders shake. I can't remember the last time I was this concerned about someone. It hurt me, just listening to her. 

"That's enough" I told her finally. "I can face them now."

We came in just as the musicians started a new piece. We danced easily, and for the thousandth time, I wondered how it could feel so natural being with her. 

"Soon it will be time for me to sing. After that, I'll either be surrounded by worshipping music lovers or be shunned by all" I said uneasily. 

"Surrounded" she told me. "And I would never shun you."

For some reason, that made me want to cry.

"I wonder," I said seriously. "You may shun me if you know the truth." I took a deep breath. The moment of truth. "I apologize if I unintentionally raised your expectations, but I've resolved to marry."

There. It was out in the open. Now I would just have to wait for her reaction.

She was smiling. Was this amusing to her in some way? 

"You didn't mislead me. I've only been saving stories for home. I'll tell them, 'The prince said thus-and-so to me, and I said thus-and-so back to him. And Mother, I made him laugh. And Father, he danced with me - one night with almost no one except me.' 'What did he wear?' my sister will want to know. 'Did he have his sword with him always?' Father will ask."

I let out a breath I hadn't known I had been holding. "Marriage is supposed to be forever, but friendship can be forever too. Will you..."

Just then I noticed Hattie behind us. She reached over, and pulled at Lela's mask. The mask fell, finally revealing her true identity. 

"Ella?" I gasped. 

She ran, stumbling down the steps. 

I pulled my hand out of Hattie's grip and ran after her. 

That letter was a lie. She loved me. Why would she have come if she didn't? 

She loved me. 

That's all that mattered. 

AN: It wasn't that horrible, was it? Most of the dialogue is from the book, since that's the way it got all tied together. I tried not to copy too much, but it didn't work that well. Review? =)


End file.
